Politicians and presidents


D: Hey Carlo.

C: Hey Dio. How’re you?

D: Good. How’re you?

C: I’m running for president in 2020.

D: Hadn’t heard.

C: It’s a secret.

D: And?

C: I’m going to announce the day before the election.

D: I see.

C: By then people are so tired of the whole thing, they vote for me.

D: Why wouldn’t they just stay home?

C: They have an obligation to vote.

D: Do they?

C: I don’t know. What do you think about that?

D: Some people think you do, some people think you don’t.

C: What do you think?

D: I think you don’t.

C: Why not?

D: Nobody can make you do anything.

C: Obligation isn’t a matter of coercion. It’s a matter of duty.

D: What’s the difference?

C: I don’t know what you mean.

D: Obligation is a sort of moral or social coercion. So is duty.

C: So you’re forced to do it even if you’re not forced.

D: No one takes you to court if you don’t vote.

C: Yet you feel you ought to do it.

D: Do you think you’ll win?

C: Win what?

D: The presidency.

C: Joe Biden says anyone could beat this guy.

D: Can you?

C: Only if I keep it a secret.

D: Your candidacy?

C: That’s right. You have to take people by surprise.

D: That’s what our current president did.

C: He took people by surprise?

D: That’s right.

C: That’s why no one wants to run against him.

D: Everybody wants to run against him.

C: Not really. They’re just pretending.

D: Pretending what?

C: Pretending they want to be president.

D: Don’t they?

C: No one wants to be president.

D: Why not?

C: It’s the worst job in the world.

D: Why do people work so hard to get the job?

C: You got me. I won’t go to any trouble at all.

D: But you’ll get the job anyway.

C: That’s right.

D: What if you lose?

C: Nobody will know.

D: Why not?

C: That will be a secret, too.

D: God bless us, every one.

C: God bless you, too, Dio.